We recently gave birth to our first child, a baby girl, on July 5th, 2023. Kynnzleigh James Gwen Christopher. And I’m devastated to say, we only got 29 very short days with our sweet baby girl. As heartbreaking & incredibly difficult this is to type out, her father/the love of my life & I, lost our baby girl on August 4th, 2023. We are incredibly heartbroken, devastated, confused & walking through unknown territory, with grieving the sudden loss of our precious Kynnzleigh. With that being said, we are both out of work mourning her sudden & tragic loss. And most days, if not everyday, are struggling to simply know how to survive/live. Her father & I have a long history of being in & out of each others lives. And right now, I don’t see how we can work through this sudden, traumatic, deep connected loss of our first born child between the both of us. So I know we can’t do this alone🥺💔Within a minute of Kynnzleigh coming into this world, our strong baby girl had the most beautiful wide open eyes I’ve ever seen a newborn have & she couldn’t help but stare into each one of our eyes, straight to our hearts with her beautiful brown eyes. Quentin, her father & I instantly fell in love; a love we both had never experienced before. So much love that I could feel both of our worries & troubles we ever felt, simply melt away in those first few minutes of meeting our precious baby girl. Kynnzleigh also organically acquired a nickname very soon after, as Peaches :-)

My ray of sunshine here on earth 💛🌻 Daughter of Ryan & Kylie Fraser

Our story starts off with a positive pregnancy finally after two years of fertility treatments for unexplained fertility. Our pregnancy was uneventful it was normal he was growing everything was okay until it wasn’t we noticed every ob appointment it was so hard to find his heart beat every time but we found it. . At our 20w anatomy scan they told us everything was normal he was a good looking baby he was in the 90th percentile he was a big boy. 7 weeks later we do a private ultrasound so my family can see him and after that scan the tech stopped us and told us she found something on my placenta and i needed to get it looked at ASAP so we sent over the pictures to my dr and messaged her about it and let me mention at 27 weeks pregnant i had only seen my OB one time i alway saw her nurse. anyway her nurse messages me back and said what exactly is the concern? and i’m like well i sent the pictures and you can see this mass that is as big as my baby. well she calls me and tell me oh we’ve known about this since your 20 w scan it’s a placental lobe no worries we didn’t tell you because we didn’t want to worry you. well asked all the questions “will it take from him?” “will it grow?” “is there any risks?” they said everything is fine don’t worry. we started noticing that i was measuring 4 weeks ahead fundal measurement wise. at 28 weeks i was measuring 32ws. fast forward to my 31w growth scan. she goes super fast and it turns out to be the same tech that did our private scan. anyway she’s in and out and comes back with the dr. a man we never met we didn’t know we were under his care. our ob office uses MFM clinic to do her ultrasounds. he comes in and tells us our baby dropped from the 90th percentile to the 5th. and they think something is wrong with my placenta or the cord insertion. but he’s “healthy” otherwise so let’s schedule an ultrasound every week for the next 3. weeks immediately messaged our dr to ask about what we could do and her nurse told us “direct all questions to the MFM DR.” we have no idea who he is or how to even contact him. however this appointment was on a monday. by the next sunday he was gone. and we had no idea why i went into the OB ED bc decreased movement and he was gone. i delivered him that tuesday and my placenta and it’s “lobe” was sent off to pathology and it turns out it was a chorioangioma a tumor and it was the size of my placenta and it weighed 1lb. how was this giant tumor missed. i have no clue two weeks later the MFM who told us he was healthy tells us “well healthy babies don’t just die in 5 days” and “even if i did find this tumor i wouldn’t have done anything for you the plan of care wouldn’t have changed” this tumor has treatment plans and the gold standard for diagnosing this tumor is ultrasound so i have no clue how it was missed but we were failed by all of our providers.

Our sweet Angel, first born son, and a Hero in his tiny life. Brantley was/is an amazing child and he touched so many peoples hearts. He was only a few hours old when he died. Our heart were shattered. He had a chance to donate his heart valves and we were so excited that he could help save someone else’s little baby. He brought so many people together when he showed up in this world, March 28th, 2017. He was a very big baby. He was 23 inches long and weighed 8lbs 7oz. He would’ve been a very big boy today. He is keeping a good eye on his great grandpas, Papa, Grandma, Gigi's, his auntie, and many other family members who are up there to keep him company. You will never be forgotten Brantley. We are honored and blessed to be your parents. Our love for you never wavers.

After a missed miscarriage in 2020, Rayla was supposed to be our rainbow baby. Unfortunately, she was stillborn at 21 weeks. The cause of death was never identified, but was ruled a possible blood clot due to a Factor II Gene Mutation. We unfortunately experienced another miscarriage in 2022 as well as a chemical pregnancy in October this year from a frozen egg transfer. We are still waiting for our rainbow.

We were thrilled (and nervous) to find out we were pregnant with our second baby in April of 2024. We had a short time to enjoy telling our family, friends and most importantly our son that he would be a big brother. Our ultrasounds had shown little promise as my uterus appeared empty, but finally on May 30th there was our little baby! We experienced a brief moment of pure bliss before realizing our ultrasound tech was concerned and her face told me what my heart could not accept. “There is a baby, but there is no cardiac activity.” The room felt painted with grief, confusion and anger and the silence as she tried to scan for a heartbeat resulted in my stifled tears and willing our babies heart to beat again. We decided to name baby, who we will never know if they were a boy or girl, Aislin Almos, the meaning basically was that our baby is our sleepy dream, only a vision of the life we imagined we’d have. We’ve navigated our grief while also trying to be the best for our toddler, he often tells us he is playing with his “baby sister” and we find peace that somewhere, in another version of us, we are whole and complete. My heart and love are with parents who’ve lost their children, lost sight of their plans of their future and who are moving through this journey!

Hendrick was born at 23 weeks gestation due to pregnancy complications. We were able to be with him for 5 weeks as he fought in the NICU. We are blessed to have the time we had with him but are also thankful he can rest peacefully. 🩵

Daughter of Jamison and Sara Halsey

On a normal Thursday I was doing the dishes preparing to move across the country to provide a better life for my sweet girl. At 19 weeks I was filled with hope, happiness, and joy just to have it all stripped away from me that very night. After feeling something wrong, I was rushed to the hospital through ambulance and told that my daughter’s membrane sac was making its way out and I was 2cm dilated. I laid in the hospital bed for 24 hours before going into labor and shortly after deliver my beautiful girl at just 19weeks and 1day. My pregnancy was unexpected but so welcomed yet every hope and dream I had was ripped away from me that very night. She was born on September 12th, and took her last breath shortly after birth. She is dearly missed, forever loved, and the missing piece to my family.

Skyler is an identical twin brother to Hudson. Both born at 27.5 weeks gestation on August 21 2021. They both were stable and perfect in our eyes. Skyler health changed quickly and he died almost 1 month later - from severe brain abnormalities that never would have given him life on earth. This was an unknown complex that never was caught on ultrasounds. Skyler also has an older brother Levi who talks about him all the time. We wish it was different. We miss him dearly.

We lost our honeymoon baby, Micah, at 8 weeks. It took us a year to get pregnant again. When I was around 35 weeks pregnant with our son, I hadn’t felt him moving around much so I went to the hospital. They rushed me into an emergency C Section before my husband made it to the hospital. They had to resuscitate him immediately after he was born. We were told it didn’t look good. He was in the NICU from March 15-19 before his body finally decided he was done fighting. He went to be with Jesus March 19, 2023 at 9:01am. To this day, we don’t know what happened to him. The doctors say it was just a freak incident and there’s no reason it should’ve happened. Now we have our beautiful daughter, Sarah, who is the light of our lives.

After almost 4 years of infertility we were blessed to get pregnant via IVF with our boy Tate in October of 2022 after a previous failed transfer. We were so excited to be parents. That excitement was short lived, when on December 28th after celebrating Christmas with our families and imaging what next Christmas would look like my water broke at 14 weeks 2 days. I went to the Emergency Room to confirm what I already knew. We were told to go home and rest and wait for my body to go into labor. What we thought would be the end of my pregnancy turned into 14 more weeks of waiting. Tate showed us just how strong he was and that he wanted to make it earth side to meet us. We were given every worst case scenario for what could happen to both myself and Tate if we continued with the pregnancy and we decided that as long as I stayed healthy and Tate kept fighting so would we. I went to weekly doctors appointment and ultrasounds from week 15 to 23 thinking every time could be the last time I would hear his heart beat, but he just kept fighting and proving us wrong. At 24 weeks I was admitted to the High Risk unit at the hospital to be monitored until birth. I went in knowing it could have been 10 weeks in the hospital if all things went as planned. Tate had other plans. On April 1st, 2023 at 28 weeks 5 days Tate decided his daddy's birthday was the time to make his arrival. He came into the world fast and furious and I know he would have lived his life the same way. We got 5 hours with him before his underdeveloped lungs could no longer keep up with his body. We tried for years to get Tate and we are still trying for his sibling. I know he would have been the best big brother and I can't wait until the day we get to tell his siblings all about him.

When I first discovered I was pregnant with Alivia, my emotions were a whirlwind. My husband, Nathan, and I had only been married for three months, and this pregnancy wasn’t part of our immediate plan. Yet, hearing our baby’s heartbeat for the first time changed everything. We dove headfirst into preparations, dreaming about our future as parents and falling in love with our little girl.My pregnancy had its ups and downs, including a diagnosis of gestational diabetes. But the anticipation of meeting Alivia kept me going. I often found myself sitting in the glider chair, envisioning the day I would hold her close, rocking her to sleep and soaking in every moment of motherhood.On July 23, 2008, after a long night of labor, I finally held Alivia in my arms. But instead of hearing her cry, I was met with silence. Alivia was born with a faint heartbeat but struggled to breathe. In the whirlwind of emotions that followed, we learned that our sweet girl had experienced significant brain damage and was unlikely to survive. She lived for just 34 hours, but those moments were filled with profound love, tenderness, and heartache.Losing Alivia was the most devastating experience of my life. In the aftermath, I found myself searching for ways to navigate my grief. I wanted to honor her memory and connect with others who had experienced similar losses. This longing to share and support led me to create the Healing Hearts Podcast.Through this platform, I aim to share stories of love, loss, and hope, offering a space for healing and connection. Alivia's story is just the beginning of many shared experiences, reminding us all that even in our darkest moments, we are not alone.

Born with a Congenital Heart defect that was not detected at birth.

Brianne was feeling under the weather with what we thought was a cold. After weeks of no relief and the doctor not taking her seriously, she passed out on the couch. She kind of came to struggling to breathe and then never came back to us. The autopsy came back as a large pulmonary embolism. She died at the age of 22, if only doctors would have listened and ran a few more tests, maybe she would be here. This November will be 10 years without her.

On Christmas of 2022, Lydia, our 21-month-old and only child at the time, died unexpectedly in her sleep. We later found out from the autopsy that she had a rare and undetectable congenital defect. Lydia was the most empathetic little toddler I have ever met. She loved our cats, watching Finding Nemo and Toy Story, playing with her dolls and toy kitchen, and going to the park.

We were scheduled for a c-section on 8/08/2024 at 12PM. We arrived to the hospital at 10AM, and during preparation for the surgery, it was discovered Elias no longer had a heartbeat. What was supposed to be a joyous day welcoming my second boy into this world, because the cruelest & most traumatic day of our lives. Our last sono appointment had been the previous week on 7/29/2024, and Elias was fine. The only thing we were told was that he was measuring and weighing two weeks ahead of schedule, but with the c section being a week out, there were no concerns. We were fine all pregnancy, Elias Amir weighed 9lb 6oz and was absolutely perfect, I am broken. But I will do my best each day to keep going for him and his big brother Abel who has been our beacon of light in this tragedy. To my sweet Elias, you are so loved and remember my beautiful baby boy. Mommy is sorry we couldn’t keep you here with us. My soul will find you Elias when it’s my time, and I will patiently wait for that day sweet boy of mine.

Our little Eleanor was born prematurely, at 28 weeks, due to severe preeclampsia. Because of the severity of the preeclampsia and birth trauma, she endured life-saving measures from the first breath of life. She spent 4 months in the NICU. When she arrived home, she began having seizure and infantile spasms, a very dangerous type of seizure that can cause brain injury. Unfortunately, she continued fighting with her severe epilepsy and many other medical complications. One week before her first birthday, she passed away from an infection she acquired in the brain due to a surgery 2.5 weeks prior. In her 11.75 months of life, she endured 8 grueling surgeries. The 8th was too much and she acquired the infection. The 9th was to remove the infected shunt in her head, but due to the infection being to advanced, she gained her heavenly pass to see Our Father. We always say, we’re lucky to have a daughter here on Earth, and another in heaven watching over us.

After fighting infertility and other medical issues, we finally found ourselves pregnant in early summer of 2018. Our joy was short lived, however, as my water broke (PPROM) just a few days shy of 22 weeks pregnant. We made it a few days beyond doctors expectations, but unfortunately our son, Theodore “Teddy” Russell Michalski, passed away during labor, and was born sleeping on October 6th, 2018 at 11:58 PM. He had the most beautiful tiny toes, and sweet little nose. He weighed 15 ounces, and was 11 inches long.Teddy has since sent us two siblings, Nathan and Delilah, and we are doing our best to make sure he is a part of their lives. That they know their sibling in the stars. We started our nonprofit, A Touch of Teddy, in his honor, and we support other baby loss families by providing free Teddy Bear ornaments during the month of October.

“The God of all grace now holds what this mother's womb once did.”